Paradox

I haven't written in a while. Mostly, there seems to be too much to say, or not anything at all. Or I just can't put into words what I think and feel.

I've started a couple posts, only to erase them. I write something and then think, "is that true? Is that how I feel?"

My life feels filled with tensions.

I seek intimacy--yet am so fearful of being exposed.
I want time by myself--yet feel lonely.
I love my job one day--hate going to work the next.
I want direction in my life--yet don't want to commit to anything.
I desire change and stability.
Being with kids feels so joyful and exhausting.
I feel spread thin, and like I have nothing to do.
I don't want to be an adult, and want to be 10 again.
I love laughing and crying.

Ok. Some of these are Ok. There are more, and I can't think of them. But I don't blog because I feel like different Liv's, different days. And it stresses me out because I want to be congruent. I am. But I am not concise. Someone give me a topic--I'll blog about that!